Faking the passion - "CRICKET"

I had stopped following cricket for a while then. I used to be big on cricket back during my school n college dayz, but since the whole match-fixing thing broke out, I had lost interest. But the obviousness that all matches have been fixed doesn't seem to have affected the vast majority of the CRICKET fans. All of them continued to watch the game with exactly the same enthusiasm..!! exception being me.

The problem of being a non-cricket watching Indian is that many people think of that as being the same as being an orangutan - Almost human, but not quite..! yes I mean it.

Several people are scandalized when I tell them I don't follow cricket. This time at my work place during tea break, I walk into this tea room and everyone is talking about match that was played on the previous day N d chat goes lik this..

RON: "I think the umpire's 2nd decision was unwarranted. The ball was way outside leg."
Michael : "Ponting shouldn't have declared despite that - The reverse swing was appreciable. I still think it was outside leg"
"What do you think?"
Me: "I'm sorry, I don't follow cricket."

There is a stunned silence in the room as the enormity of my stupidity dissipates through the room. Everyone is looking at me as if I'm an Alien..!

Ron: "YOU DIDN'T WATCH YESTERDAY'S MATCH?"
Me: "err..hmmm....err...no? Did I miss something?"
Michael: "TRAITOR! KILL HIM! HANG HIM UPSIDE DOWN TO THE FAN!"
Rest of the Colleagues: "Yeeeessss!!! (chorus) Hang him! Hang him!"

It wasn't that bad, but hope you got the picture. I have since then learnt that saying you don't watch cricket n tat too being an Indian means you'll be treated like an outcast. So, I fake it.. not all d time but most of the time.. N the discussion went on....

RON: "...and so the ball was outside leg. It wasn't out. What do you think?"
Me: "Yes. That was the turning point of the match!"
RON: "Yes! And if that idiot umpire..."

"Turning point" is a good fake to use, because all incidents can be turning points of the match. People can't tell if you are faking it. But you have to be careful to use this strategy and not say too much. It can get you into trouble.

Mohammed: "What did you think of the match yesterday?"
Me: "It was a good match. Sachin's innings was eventful."
(Note the use of the generic "eventful". If Sachin scored 0, it was eventful, if he scored 100, it was still eventful. This normally works, except if you're so stupid that you didn't know Sachin is not playing)
RON: "Sachin is not playing in the T20 worldcup!"
Me: "Did I say Sachin? I meant Sourav."
RON: "Ganguly is not playing either. Did you really watch the match?"
Me: "Look there! its Aishwarya on the screen!"

my colleagues turned around to TV screen n I ran back to work...